They Eat Horses, Don't They?

Season: 2

Episode: 2

Production Code: AM202

First Air Date: September 21, 1998

Director: Mel Damski

Writer: David E. Kelley

# of Times Richard said Bygones: 0

Guest Stars:

Wayne Newton as Harold Wick
David Ogden Steirs as Judge Andrew Peters
Lucy Liu as Ling Woo
Mark Metcalf as Walden
Albert Hall as Judge Seymore Walsh
Tim Thomerson as Mr.Daley
Stuart Pankin as Mr.Handy
James Sutorius
J. Karen Thomas
Martin Levy


Ling Woo and sometime friend (do either of them believe in such things?) of Nelle whirls into the office wanting, no, insisting that the firm sue a radio shock jock because his program contributes to a sexual harassment mecca at her steel mill.

Meanwhile the so obviously smitten with Nelle it's embarrassing, John, keeps at least half of his mind occupied with defending John Handy, the owner of a French restaurant being sued by Stephen Daley for serving him horsemeat. Even Cage is somewhat disturbed by this story, he's always enjoyed Mr. Ed. Handy's only argument seems to be that the meat is low in fat and high in protein, even Oprah ought to go for that.

The Biscuit goes back to the office to prep his closing, out of curiosity asking Nelle if she's ever tried the delicacy, a misunderstanding occurs, as is easily figured what with John being John, and he lucks into a dinner date for Thursday without even asking.

Returning to the vague gloss on Howard Stern, in front of Judge Andrew Peters, Harold Wick's attorney writes off his client's racist/sexist schtick as the first amendment right, but Nelle argues that his words are influential creating unwelcome bias against certain walks of life. Ally is surprised by how good Nelle is.

It turns out that the beautiful brain never had any intention of actually taking the case to trial, she has Ling read a statement at a media blitz, implying that Harold Wick has a sexual dysfunction. Ally is astonished that they did this without any proof whatsoever, and before she has time to think she agrees to come on the radio show.

In court B, The Biscuit voices an impassioned closing, not really favorable for his client, but nonetheless a victorious one. One is beginning to think John is some latter day Perry Mason.

Ally McBeal's first foray onto the airways goes surprisingly well as she manages to give as good as she gets, she must have made tapes of Donnie Osmond's many appearances with Howard. Anyway she ends up apologizing to Wick, who as it turns out is actually your average nice guy and we're not supposed to leave the show feeling like we've just been wrapped in some tired of cliché.

AM-202 ©1998 Almost Human

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