Buried Pleasures

Season: 3

Episode: 2

Production Code: #3M02

First Air Date: November 1, 1999

Writer: David E. Kelley

Director: Mel Damski

# of Times Richard said Bygones: 0

Guest Stars:

Heidi Mark as ?
Dee Wallace Stone as ?
Paula Newsome as ?
Micheal Kagan as ?
Victoria L. Kelleher as Helen Fisher
Nancy Stephens as Judge Washington
Ton Kemp as Foreman


Trapped in a literal nutshell, the Ally players proudly present episode two, controversy two.

Sexual tension percolated as every word was spoken with an intimate passion. No, we’ll save this week’s infamous “it” for last; I’m referring to the new found sizzling animosity between the bra burning for totally non-political reasons Renee and the newly borderline Billy who seems to be channeling Michael Douglas circa ‘Falling Down.’

With Georgia virtually MIA, wouldn’t Renee and Billy make a great combustible couple?

As for the case, is anyone else sick of the courtroom retreads? David, take notes from Judge Judy for new material, if you really must.

This one about the woman’s right to wear the slightly more subtle wing of Mariah Carey’s walk-in closet to the office, was achingly similar to the suit Elaine tried to bring against Cage and Fish once upon a time. Isn’t this what that Tuesday space-filler is for?

It’s all subjective anyway, what about all the women who find men in Italian suits absolutely yummy, are they going to ban Armani on Wall Street? Certainly not.

This week’s sole reason for being a comedy nominee at the Emmy’s came in the form of Nelle’s spanking fantasy, which predictably that verbal Mr. Bean, John bumbled royally resulting in a break-up.

Speaking of Nelle, did you note the Lennon spectacles and the softer hairstyles? Does this mean the ice maiden thaw-eth and she’s going the way of the dinosaurs a.k.a. Barbie doll Georgia?

Now to the reason why Ally McBeal most likely attracted her highest male demos ever: The Kiss. Denial was heavy in the air, since apparently we were supposed to concentrate on the fact that these two will remain very heterosexual so that all the homophobes could keep tuning in without fear.

Ally and Ling shared awkward dinner conversation, redefined the image the song ‘Pretty Woman’ conjures up, and no one should notice that the waifly one wore the only sexy poncho ever made. This was not a date. Heaven forbid the viewers think that.

For the most part “it” was steeped in the Seinfeldian adage “I’m not gay, not that there’s anything wrong with that.” Television doesn’t get much more super-glued to the moral fence than this did.

Oh, and about that forbidden lingering kiss which allegedly, despite all evidence to the contrary, created no tingle? Didn’t hearing tale of Barbra Streisand and James Brolin spooning make you a lot more uncomfortable than any second of this same-sex lip lock?

©1999 Almost Human

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