Seeing Green

Season: 3

Episode: 3

Production Code: AM-303

First Air Date: November 8, 1999

Writer: David E. Kelley

Director: Peter MacNicol

# of Times Richard said Bygones: 0

Guest Stars:

Betty White as Dr. Shirley Flott
Brad Wilson as Harold
Gerry Becker as attorney Michael Stone
Keegan De Lancie as Kirby Gallin
Marnie Mosiman as Marcia Gallin
Tim Snay as Walter Gallin
William Stanford Davis as Jim
Wylie Small as Mrs. Puckett
Brian Evers as Mr Puckett
Asiilee Turner as Julie
Earl K. Kim as Men’s group member #1
Al Green as himself
Gladys Knight as herself
Nicki Aycoc as young John Cage’s date
Holmes Osborne as young John Cage
Sy Smith as a singer
Vatrena King as a singer
Renee Goldsberry as a singer


I tuned into Ally McBeal, only to find my screen over-run with retreads. Had FOX white-flagged for that Millionaire farce? No, it was more like their interpretation of what Nick at Night 2020 will be: kick-starting with a Fame abomination, segueing to Dawson’s suburbia, and crash landing in an Al Bundy No Ma’am meeting.

As for the Fame pretenders, wasn’t Ally’s brief duet with Al Green the weakest thing since Gloria met N’sync?

At least McBeal’s rock opera lunatic love for an apparition came silver-lined by Betty White’s gift for comedy. Only Ms. White or Lisa Kudrow could make a Prozac pushing Dr. Laura nightmare appear unendingly pleasant while she’s in the midst of ripping you apart. White is who you hire for some legendary spice, not Jack Tripper!

Speaking of the lawyer’s Green affection (talent not withstanding), would he be your first choice for a delusional serenade? Isn’t that what Enrique Iglesias was put on earth for?

Naturally, Ally ended up taking the high road and flushing the drugs, though she did do some kind of strange Trainspotting-esque toilet dive for a second. Never fear, by the end she strolled serenely (couldn’t she ever take a cab?), and it looked to be another miracle on Green Street.

Parable of the week: Kirby (think little John) gnaws the Strawberry Lipsmacker off of an unwilling paramour goddess in training (think little Nelle). Litigation better suited to an episode of Popular ensued. Happiness abounded however, when Nelle gave both little Biscuits reason to believe that ‘Dancing With Myself’ needn’t be their theme song. Awww.

For once Kelley should have delved further into the case (Kirby blamed it on the influence of romance novels), it could have been an interesting satire on the Hollywood violence uproar.

Think about it, is Danielle Steel as harmful to a developing mind as The Basketball Diaries?

Increasingly brutal Billy joined a club in favor of the barefoot and pregnants of the world much to Georgia’s kick-boxing chagrin.

If Georgia takes him back, won’t you just gag?

This was like the motherland calling Richard Fish home, he couldn’t have been more in his element than if he was a socialite at Barneys. Clearly, this is the most dynamic this trio has been in eons, there’s something to be said for political incorrectness.

By the way, is Georgia still practicing law? Her sweater sets are about as empowering as a Doris Day movie.

I’m starting to think there has to be some method to all this David E. Kelley madness, maybe season three is all some Ewing style dream? Hey, they seem to be saluting television history here, why not Dallas?

©1999 Almost Human

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